


Impossibilities

by tatooedlaura



Series: Life, Part 3 [9]
Category: The X-Files
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-12 08:02:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13543149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tatooedlaura/pseuds/tatooedlaura
Summary: He literally fell on the ground, knees giving out for the briefest of moments, cracking as they rammed heavily into cheap flooring, reality driving oxygen from his lungs in a chuffing exhale, “what?”





	Impossibilities

Convincing Skinner to go anywhere but with him up to Scully’s room, he navigated hospital corridors and countless signs, finding her room, finding her sitting on the edge of the bed, buttoning up a classy flannel shirt, feet dangling a foot off the ground, “they’re letting you out already?”

His smile fell instantly when she looked up at him, dark circles under her eyes, thin fingers glitching as they fumbled, missed, gave up, dropped to wrap around rough sheet and narrow mattress, “yeah. Gave me some vitamins, a blood sugar kit and a kick in the ass.”

Her attempt at humor smashed to the ground, unheard, as he scooted in between her knees, maneuvering her face to see her eyes better, watched them contract, then widen, focus on him, “what happened? You said it wasn’t a big deal.”

Lips sticking together in the dry air, throat scratched, “it’s not. I mean, it is but it’s not bad … I … my sugar got out of control and I fainted and they kept me overnight …” the words wouldn’t come, the declaration too frightening out loud, too impossible once declared but seeing his persistent, laser gaze made her swallow and try again, the truth professed with whispered terror, “and I’m pregnant.”

He literally fell on the ground, knees giving out for the briefest of moments, cracking as they rammed heavily into cheap flooring, reality driving oxygen from his lungs in a chuffing exhale, “what?”

“Either we managed to make a baby when it shouldn’t be possible or,” words not even audible at this point but mouthed for him to understand, “we didn’t make this baby at all.”

He couldn’t think further than those seven words and standing, he took her hand, seven words driving him to first kiss her forehead, then help her slide from the bed to the floor, hand gripped in hers, coat over his arm. She understood his silence and matched it, letting it hang between them until they were outside, last paperwork finished, “I don’t have my car. I made Skinner drop me off. I figured I’d either stay with you or we’d call someone when we were ready to go.” Looking around, “we can take the Metro if you’re up for it or a cab? I’d really rather not deal with anybody we know right now.”

Looking so lost and nervous, angry and sad, emotions chasing one another, Scully stopped him, hand holding tightly to his for dear life, “cab is fine.”

In silence, they rode home, unlocked entry door, locked entry door, double locked entry door, trudged stairs, opened inner door, closed inner door, weight of the world making it hard to blink, “I don’t know what to do.”

Mustering strength enough to lead him down the hall, she stripped beside the bed, “lay down before you fall down.”

Mulder followed suit, fingers tingling zing, brain fuzzing buzz, climbing beside her, sliding next to her, tucking into her, “I don’t know what to do.”

She had to ignore her own spiraling for the moment, pulling the blankets over him tighter, smoothing back matted hair, “I need you to listen to me. We can’t do anything right now about anything so you are going to take a deep breath, then a not-so-deep breath and while you’re doing that, you’re going to close your eyes, make sure the only thing you’re thinking about is what I’m saying, okay?” Feeling him nod, she shifted her arm, wiggled a little to get his head resting on her chest, skin to skin contact bringing her own heartbeat down one notch, “Jeremiah was a bullfrog …”

He didn’t say anything through two verses and three refrains repeated twice but when she trailed off, running out of words yet again, he spoke up, world just as unsteady, “I’m glad you finally sang me the second verse.” Sliding a hand down her cool side, hip, thigh, he wrapped his hand around the ass, gripping her, pulling her closer than physics should allow, “I don’t feel right.”

“You’re exhausted. Would you like a shot of Nyquil to help you get to sleep?” Ignoring, he couldn’t get closer but his skin craved it, his senses demanded it. Moving his palm, playing against spine, fingering ribs, he moved his head, tasting her neck, finding it necessary, demanding it more, tongue tracking tendon, jaw and lips until she had to pull away, stop his devouring, “Mulder …”

“I don’t feel right,” sinking his head lower, he toyed with her collarbones, dip in between, buried face into breast, pliably suffocating, air replaced by the scent of her, “you feel right.”

Concern overriding, she forced his shoulders back, “Mulder … !”

His face slipped off her, sweat building up at the instance of contact, “please, Scully.”

Moving her hands to his cheeks, she held him still, clammy, pale and shaking; eyes darting, reactive to light, movement, sweat cold, teeth gripped, lips tight, “will you let me help you warm up?” Mulder tried to drop his head back to her but she held him, “you’re in shock. Will you trust me for a minute?”

“Always.”

“Then come in the bathroom and get in the tub with me. We’ll take a bath and warm up and calm down and go from there, okay?”

Her voice reached him, registered, sent his head nodding as he shivered, “can I stay here until it’s ready?”

“Of course, hon, I’ll be back in a second, just let me go turn the water on.” Slipping from the bed careful not to let in any cold breeze, she returned a moment later, faucet on high, “now I’m going to go get you something to eat, don’t go anywhere.”

Trying to conjure up a lighter moment, “I didn’t get on the ship, Scully and I’m sure not leaving here.”

His tone gave her pause, returning her for another kiss, this time light on the lips, “15 seconds.”

The moment the water reached halfway, she coaxed him from bed, both already bare to the world and settled behind him. The saving grace to this apartment and a major selling point in Scully’s eyes had been the long tub and it was paying off now, Mulder’s legs up but not by his chin, her arms around his chest, wedged in safe and sound.

Scully broke the silence a few minutes later, noting Mulder’s semi-frantic kneading of her lower legs under the water had slowed to irregular cupping of her kneecaps, “warm enough?”

“Not yet but I’m getting there.”

Shifting her hands to chase along his ribs, sternal notch, sensitive pass over hardened nipples with her forearm, “do you want more hot water?”

“Just you … just you.”

Head tilt to lay a kiss to the back of his neck, she paused for a moment, continuing her thought in a surprisingly steady voice, “will you tell me one day what happened in the woods?”

“I will but not right now.” Focusing solely on the small hand drifting lower over his stomach, passing his belly button, continuing its journey down, “I don’t want to think about anything right now.”

As her hand found him, wrapped around him, traveled end to end as he grew, her other drifted back towards his nipple, his neck, traced his mouth until he kissed her fingertips, sucking them inside, tasting water and rough fingerprint, smooth nail, rounded edge.

“We will figure this out, Scully, all of it.”

Squeezing him harder, moving quicker, shifting calm water into rippled waves, “no thinking, remember?”

His eyed drifted shut, his hand holding her elbow to keep fingers in mouth, he talked around them, “not tonight.”

It didn’t take long for him to finish, clouding water, panting hard, in turn twisting to face her, slipping his own hand between her thighs, fingers venturing deep inside, wetter than water, smoother than silk. “You don’t … have to … do this.”

Embracing the life pounding in his veins, he gave her a knowing stare, his head tilt a thing of beauty only to her, “I want to.”

With that, he pressed harder, specific spot rolling her eyes and biting her lip, hips shifting to meet his quickening rhythm, “then up a little more … … and harder.”

Last word drawn out as he complied, water sloshing to the floor, thumb pressing clit, other hand bracing so she wouldn’t drown in 5 … 4 … 3 … 2 …

“Oh, God … Mulder … Muld … ” …

1.

Hand slapping the tile, foot knocking shampoo to the side, only thing saving the back of her head being a hastily piled bun …

Reacquiring oxygen took a few moments and figuring out how to open her eyes again, limbs still spasmodic, she found his face, sweet Mulder smile, soft bedroom eyes, as he told her quietly, “I’m finally warm.”

But the cloud descended again in a few moments, unbidden and unwelcome, both shadowed simultaneously, “I don’t know what to do, Mulder.”

“Neither do I.”

&&&&&&&

Hidden away in a cocooned nest of comforter, blankets, sheets and pillows, he kissed the top of her head, cradling but not strangling her close to his chest, “why didn’t you tell me when I called?”

“Would that have gotten you home any faster?”

“No, but …”

“No buts. Had I told you, you would have broken every traffic law in existence, yelled at the people at the airport for not moving quicker, irritated Skinner to the point where he would have tied you up on the wing of the plane,” running a finger along the arm, keeping her tone light, “nothing was going to change in that half a day and it was the right thing to do so get off my back about it, please.”

He let it drop and they lay there, midnight passing in silence, until a headlight working its way across the ceiling brought him from his reverie, his voice low, honest, knowing that if she didn’t want to talk about one elephant in the room, he’d talk about the other, “it felt so right, Scully, being in that ship. It was like everything made sense, that it was the only right choice in the world and once I walked through that barrier, everything would be okay.”

That hadn’t been the feeling she’d felt, hers being tantamount to the worst roller coaster ride she’d ever been on or a freefall from space without a parachute but she kept quiet, listening intently as he tried to explain why he almost left her behind.

“I saw everyone, Scully … Teresa, Billy, countless others … standing there, in a white light, staring up with such looks of peace and completion … it was beautiful.”

“Why didn’t you stay?”

Face somber, serious, “you. For all the wonder I felt, the thing that kept hammering back was I had people I couldn’t leave behind. I had you who I could never leave behind.” Shifting his head to stare at the auburn hair splayed across his torso, “maybe I knew you were pregnant already? I don’t … I just know I don’t want what I used to want enough anymore.”

Propping her chin on his chest to stare a second, “you’ve always wanted to be abducted by aliens?”

Shifting his head back and forth on the pillow, still unblinking, “I’ve always wanted to know how my life could have been different. How it could have been if it had been me instead of my sister but standing there, having to choose between you and answers, I realized there wasn’t a choice to make anymore. I chose you a long time ago and my life is full of people who love me and care about me and would be sad that I left. A few years back I didn’t have that and I would have been gone in a heartbeat but now, I’ve got what I always wanted albeit not what I ever expected.”

Wanting to run, scream, cry at the injustice of another obstacle, another wrench in the works, she kissed one of the many random scars scattered across his chest, “thank you for coming home.”

&&&&&&&&&&&

Half hour later, Mulder, under the influence of the aforementioned shot of green Nyquil, never felt her leave, never heard her crying in the living room, never realized he’d missed something along the way.


End file.
